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1.
Beach Week 04:30
You swam out to sea To see if I’d save you See if I’d save you and me You bet every grain of sand on the beach You used the last piece of good in me And there’s no going back from this There’s no going back We could’ve sat and laughed and watched the world burn But you burnt any chance of that I wish that you could see how much I’ve grown without you I don’t want you in my life as a lover, as a villain, as a friend You never loved me, you only loved us How could you do what you did to someone that you love? You fucked it all Liz, just ‘cause you cried wolf once I’ve lost all shred of respect, admiration, and trust We could’ve sat and laughed and watched the world burn But you spent more than all the trust you deserve We could’ve sat and laughed and watched the world burn
2.
I’m understanding the cliché to feel nostalgic on a train ‘cause I know nothing’s changed but nothing feels the same The icicles above my bed is dripping water on my head And keep me dreaming of the home I had instead I’ve been so resilient I just wish you would try To make this house a place that I can make my home But if you won’t light a fire, then I’ll sleep in the snow Every picture is collapsed, all these boxes stay unpacked Because the memories just hurt too fucking bad Nothing good can ever last. Nothing here could ever mask The undying pain of dealing with the fact that the past is in the past is in the past and that’s that And there’s no sense in standing still because I’m busy looking back Blood is thicker than water, but family’s thicker than blood I have the eyes of my father and the heart of a stranger’s son I’m understanding the cliché to feel nostalgic on a train ‘cause I just know the holidays won’t be the same But distance can’t delineate Separate roofs can’t separate The bind that time has forged I know will stay
3.
Your Time 04:36
Take your brother, go inside Shut the window, close your eyes I was fire, you were ice We were children, we were light And our ceiling opened up And drank the heavy sky Looking deep, finding warmth Breaking free, going forth I can say your time has stayed very close to me You have made me who I am In your absence, I will mend I can say your time has stayed very close to me And oh this pain that we call love And oh this pain I call it love
4.
Dragging 04:35
I’m too loved to be lonely I’m too blessed to be sad I’m too drunk to be alone now I need your warmth in my bed There’s so much love all around me And I’m too scared to let it in I resent you for what you’ve made me A beaten dog in shaking skin What do you tell your friends when they ask you, how’d it end? And what do you tell yourself at night to fall asleep in that icy bed? I’m too loved to be lonely I’m too blessed to be sad I’m too in love to be alone now I need your warmth in my bed Calling you would only make it worse I’m small, pathetic, lonely, and perverse You are both the pain and the escape I come to you to realize what I hate So I’ll take all the anger in my life and point it all at you And crush this tainted love until it dies ‘cause I need someone new So if you ever feel like taking your life again, Don’t hesitate to call someone whose love you haven’t pushed away ‘Cause some sins are too big to forgive, But I’m trying to forget I love you I hate you I feel terrible Sincerely, Ben
5.
Sidelines 04:15
I think I need some time to pick apart my mind Look inside and understand Understand why I can’t be on my own side I’ve been on the sideline On the sidelines for quite some time But I don’t really mind I’m not sad, I just don’t care I don’t go out anymore I can’t quite reconcile the consistent contradiction I have been with who I try to be And all the while hide behind a smile while my friends and family weep for the death of me Look around Nobody knows who you are Eulogies sound so sweet when you feel like a ghost Irony I can’t decide if I care enough to try Regret Fuck, fuck, fuck this fucking head Another night framed by the bathroom mirror again Combing through all the ugly words I wish I never said You know, I took some time to pick apart my mind and all I could find was solitude Solitude and all my faults and fears to justify why I’m on the sidelines But then I stepped outside, left the quicksand of my mind And realized I’m not alone You’re not alone And if you thought you were, just take a look outside We’re all on the sidelines Look around Nobody knows who they are
6.
There will come a day I’ll recall these memories with a lightness that I never knew Looking back on my youth, feeling fondly removed from those formative two years with you I won’t dwell on the thought of what could or could’ve not been of us because what can I do? And my object of love won’t just be a token of how fine I am without you On that day Only scars will remain On that day I will feel no pain But that day is not today There will come a time when my words need not remind me of all the resentment I feel, as a shield from your touch. My temptation is a crutch for a bad break that won’t seem to heal On that day Only scars will remain I knew that night that something died between us But we’ve been too afraid to let each other go I think you know that friendship won’t sustain us I think we both deserve some time alone And you will feel again For someone different In time our heavy hearts will harden And our lives will grow apart There will come a day I will sing these melodies with a smile ‘cause I’ll be over you Looking back on my youth, feeling fondly removed from those formative two years with you On that day Only love will remain

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released April 2, 2012

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Goodnight Moon Doylestown, Pennsylvania

Goodnight Moon is Ben Lapidus. I write my own songs. I sing, play guitar, piano, and drums and produced STAGES. I've spent the last 6 months recording this album in my basement. Listen, Share, Enjoy.

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